Believe it or not, there are about a MILLION 40-year-old women preparing for tonight’s finale. It’s the our Superbowl, ladies! Well, a million may be exaggerated…but then again, there’s about a million people in Hawaii. So if you were to factor in the USA population, absolutely YES there are about a million women (maybe not all aged 40) who are waiting in vile anticipation of who Sean is going to pick. I say it’s Catherine. You can boo at your computer screen, iPhones, iPads or whatever iDevices you have to read this blog, but it’s going to be Catherine. It’s my inborn Filipina connection. Gone are the days of dark-skinned segregation and prejudice, people. Exotic-looking women are IN! Not to say that the light-skinned are an abomination, there are huge amounts of beautiful Snow Whites out there and will always be.
So, at church yesterday, I spoke in code to another fellow Bachelor fan friend of mine about the Finale and that we have to meet. All I did was lock eyes with her, and mouth out the words, “Superbowl tomorrow” for her to give me a slight thumbs up at her side. All this while we walked past each other in slow motion. We knew. We were planning in our heads. Then after my Sunday afternoon of other familial birthday shenanigans, I sent my friend a text to confirm our get-together. As if she was tweaking addict, her response text popped up on my phone in a millisecond: FOR SURE. And we’re in our 40’s. You can tell when people are in our age brackets because we’re still saying valley girl 80’s lingo.
Friend: We can have it at my house if you want, pot luck!? (Notice her excitement with the exclamation point with the question mark?)
Me: Oooh that sounds AWESOME!! For sure pot luck. Should I let some of our other stealth friends know??? (Double excitement with multiple question marks.)
Friend: Absolutely yes, let them know!!
Friend: Sounds good! Let’s shoot for 6:30/7. It already auto records, so when we start it, we can skip through some commercials! (I didn’t even THINK of that! Genius!! She’s more hard-core than I am.)
Me: YES!!! You are on it!!! Lol. Ok, I will let you know the head count when I get it.
So, later on, I text her back.
Me: Ok, so ________ is gonna play it by ear because her son is sick.
My friend doesn’t care who is coming considering her response:
Friend: I’m making Choc Chip cookies for tomorrow. I also invited ___________. (Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!!! Wait what?? This new invitee does not know I am a Bach fan! And I did not know she was too. I’m suspicious.)
Me: Wait. Is ________ a Bach fan too??
Friend: I don’t know. I told her to just come and hang out with us! If she is, she hasn’t confessed it yet! *Smiley Face Emoticon* Ha! Ha!
Me: She doesn’t know I’m one! I will NEVER admit it.
At this point, I’m like, what the HECK did you just do??? Our other friend does not know I am a Bach fan, and I had no plans to let that dog out. PLUS, if she hadn’t confessed it to you as soon as you invited her, SHE ISN’T ONE!!! She would’ve had her eyebrows raised to the ceiling, and with voice hushed à la ventriloquist-style exclaimed, “You watch too?” Not even mentioning the word “Bachelor”. Well, at least, she is not a die-hard fan. That just ruins the night a bit, FRIEND! We can’t be our silly selves with _____ there. Ugh.
Then my friend texts on to say:
Friend: Well, _______ does know it’s full-out Bachelor night, though! Ha! Ha! You’re Funny! We all have our guilty pleasures! Plus, this guy is a good Bachelor. (Whatever, Friend. It’s different when you’re in some kind of leadership at CHURCH, for Pete’s sake!!)
I didn’t respond after that. Anyway, moving on from that fiasco, I decided to just roll with the punches and enjoy myself. Is this God telling me that I have to quit watching this stupid show? I really don’t know. My friend was right, though. At least Sean is a good guy and totally gave disclaimer of his Fantasy Suite intentions. Duh, we all know it’s not all about doing the nasty in there. But I’m glad that he said it on national television though. Good will triumph, because evil is dumb.
Okay, well, it’s noontime, and I should be getting ready. I have to plan my menu, and make enough for my husband when he gets home because I will be M.I.A. with my phone on vibe.
LISTEN TO ME: All you Bachelor Fans, enjoy your night! Non-Bachelor Fans, or those who are repulsed by people who are fans, don’t hate. We are people who just enjoy the pursuit of romance. Love is the core of our being. Try some love.