About Balancing My Checkbook

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I wish I had a dog so that he can do this for me.  It’s 10 AM on Monday morning.  Nippy at about 75 degrees F, and occasional trade winds here in Hawaii.  BTW, just WHERE is the temperature degrees symbol on this keyboard??  Where is the “cent” symbol too?  Do we not use those anymore?  WTH.  Anyway, I can’t really complain about being unemployed in Hawaii, can I?  If we lost our house, we can camp on the beach, WHICH I would hate to do but will probably adapt.  At least the weather is good for 95% of the year.

Actually it’s crazy expensive to live here.  Almost suffocating.  But I don’t really feel it unless I hear about how milk costs about $3/gallon in some Chicago suburb…well, that’s back in 2007.  Here in Hawaii, it’s stinking over $8!!!  No wonder my bones are beginning to go brittle.

I know I have to tackle opening my mail and doing my books (meaning balancing my checkbook) and paying the household bills and having a report for my hubby to look over by the end of the day, but I DON’T WANT TO!!!!!  I dread it like I dread having to call back my Dad’s friend who is hounding me to join his minions for this multi-level marketing thing.  I just KNOW that’s what he’s trying to get a hold of me for.  I guarantee you that he found out about my getting fired and thought, “Ooh! She’s free now to do more sales and marketing.”  Sorry uncle, I’ve got news for you:  I HATE SALES.  And I detest having to kiss someone’s ass to make a living.”  Geez! Just because I was a financial advisor doesn’t mean that I love handling money 24-7.  I mean, look…it’s been about 20 minutes now since I wrote the first line in this blog, and that’s just it…I’m still writing this blog about balancing my checkbook instead of actually doing it.

I’ve said it before, maybe not in my blog site, but going from “zero” to “one” is the most difficult task.

Ok, here are some observations about balancing my checkbook:

  1. I dread it because I don’t have a never-ending supply of money.
  2. I dread it because I know that I may have overspent somewhere, and it’s probably buying yarn or Starbucks.
  3. I can’t handle the truth!  I say this line with as much gusto as Jack Nicolson does in “A Few Good Men”.  And what is the truth, you might ask?  The dang truth is that I need to be finding a job to help support my hubby.  That, or I have to keep the house clean with dinner ready or else I can’t justify being at home, jobless.
  4. I tend to have a satisfying sense of relief after I’m done.  I just have to endure about a couple of hours going through the process.
  5. I always feel better knowing where we are at in our budget.
  6. It’s the right thing to do – being a good steward of time and money.
  7. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…I want to watch Gossip Girl right now, I have only about 7 more episodes in Season 5 and I’ll be caught up.

I tell myself after I’ve overcome this excruciating feat, that I will upkeep every day.  It lasts for no more than two days before I’ve fallen off the wagon.  I have fallen and my Laura Ingalls petticoat and bonnet are all dusty, I’m all scratched up and I’m trying to chase after my horse who’s got a three-week lead from me.  What I should have done is that the minute I’ve realized this labor in vain, I should have gotten up, dusted myself off, and the chase wouldn’t have been as bad.  PROCRASTINATOR.  Haha, I just laid there for three weeks, rolled over to my side, with my elbow bent and hand propping up my head as if I was being fed grapes and fanned by servants.

Chop, chop Paris Hilton!  It’s time to get going.

LISTEN TO ME:  If you are any of these:  a millionaire, trust fund baby (I guess that’s kind of the same), one of the Shahs of Beverly Hills, or an Upper East Side aristocrat (again…same thing)…okay, if you are RICH, then, you can afford to ignore the checkbook.  On a much lower scale, if you have Asian parents who have taught you the value of the dollar and also have hefty 401k plans and $500,000 life insurance policies from five different companies, THEN you can play, “Feel the balance” and be safe.  Just balance the dang checkbook.

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